PERInormal Activitiy
by 8Legs
Summary: HumanAU where maybe Peridot isn't haunting the wrong person after all.. Rated T for swearing and alcohol use. "...If you can hear me, scream-"


AN/ HURRRRRR I did a thing. My brains got creative in the early hours of the morning and this is what happened. Can't stop won't stop. Also, PLEASE don't ever drink and drive. Be safe and drink at home and if you are underage, preferably don't drink at all. People get seriously hurt when alcohol is mixed with vehicles and no one should have to louse their best friend or their brother/sister to that poor life decision. I'm saying this because these things do happen and I love you all, I worry about you guys..  
 **I OWN NOTHING AND I ESPECIALLY DON'T OWN TAYLOR SWIFT.**

" _I swear to god, Pearl. If I die tonight, I'm so haunting your ass for the rest of your life!_ "

Those were the words that promptly screwed me over for the rest of my friend's life. No, sadly, they weren't my last words.

" _Five-fifty for Milk? Fucking really?_ " Now those were my last words. Classy, am I right? I bet you are quite curious right about now, what am I'm going on about? Who is this crazy woman? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret if you haven't figured it out yet.

My name is Peridot. And I am dead.

Yep. Deader than a door-nail. Super dead. Like WOAH, holly wow.

Lemme tell you about the day I died. It was the day me and my friends (like, all five of us) decided driving drunk was fun and shit because fuck, it was Friday and no one had anything to do, so let's party!

Pearl was behind the wheel, she's normally a crap driver when she was sober, but she was the only one of us that was the least wasted so we didn't argue when she sat in the driver's seat. The rest of us were mashed into the back of her white jeep as she drove down the twistiest and steepest back road we knew of in this small town, we were roaring with drunken laughter as our limbs tangled and our bodies pressed tighter together when the car dipped to skid around every sharp corner Pearl guided us through. What was probably even stupider than driving drunk, was not one of us were wearing our seat-belts.

No one died because of this incredibly stupid stunt surprisingly. After all that fun was had, It was getting late, so I had Pearl drop me off in town so I could grab a quart of milk before I went home. Milk is important for cereal and stuff and I like to eat when I wake up sometimes. Walking home was alright though, very sobering in the chilly air and with the headphones over my ears, the walk was almost enjoyable.

I remember I was listening to some amazing EDM dubstep trash as I was speed-walking down the gravel road that lead out to my parent's place. I'd had made this walk a million times in my life, to and from school, to work, just to go into town, or to pick up a friend that didn't exactly trust driving down a creepy rocky and long driveway. I grew up in my parent's house, so this was my normal.

Having to cross railroad tracks didn't seem like a big deal to me.

It was quick and painless, I stepped out over the tracks and got about half way through when a freight-train hit me. I didn't get to see any special light and get picked up by some beautiful being with expansive white wings, but I didn't get dragged into a deep dark hole by a chard smoking monster with fire for eyes either. There was a loud swoosh of air that rushed passed me, I blinked at it and before I knew it I wasn't holding that quart of two-percent milk anymore. I turned around and watched the train fly by, it's wheels screaming something awful in an attempt to stop, but it just couldn't fast enough.

My music was also gone, but the screeching of the train didn't seem to bother my ears at all. Come to think of it, I didn't feel buzzed or even a little drunk anymore. No hang-over. Nothing.

"That was pretty smooth, Peri" I jumped in surprise as I whipped my head around to look at... a man? He had long shaggy hair and beard stubble, his shirt looked like it was from an eighty's rock band and his jeans had hols in the knees, but over all his entire being looked really faded and washed out "I accidentally walked out on these tracks much like you did too, no worries kiddo"

We sat on the tracks until the sun peaked over the horizon the next day, just talking. I figured out his name is Greg and that he pretty much watched me cross the tracks every day from his place in a lighthouse just up the hill. He let me know that he tried to warn me that the train was coming, but I didn't hear him or the train. He also told me some things I was going to need to know about being dead and stuck here, apparently there indeed was a heaven for good spirits to go to and a hell for bad and poisoned spirits, but we are stuck here by our own word and "the big guy"'s hand until a deed is done.

Greg was here to watch over his son, Steven. He swore to God and his late wife that he would watch over that kid and protect him no matter what. And I was here because I was drunk and stupid, used God's name in vain like the fool I was and it bit me in the ass.

I had to haunt Pearl.

For the rest of her life.

Fucking shit, man.

My parents and my friends all heard about the finding of my body within a few days and they were all mortified and saddened. I still kick myself every day knowing I left these wonderful people behind. My parents.. they eventually had to tell my little sister that I wasn't ever going to come home. My friends cleaned out my locker at school. My things were divided between my immediate family and my closest friends.

Eventually, everyone that cared about me moved on, picked up the broken pieces and pressed on, but sometimes I watch them break down and cry. They take comfort in praying for me and talking to the air as if I could hear them...

And boy.. I heard them. I heard them every time. I would sit beside them and let them cry, hoping my presents would somehow ease the pain I had so abruptly bestow upon them. Sometimes I would find myself crying too.

Jasper cried the most out of my group of friends, she and I were very close. We had dated a few times, but for the most part we were best friends sense forever. The massive woman was torn and lost when she heard the news, turned into a reclusive workaholic, and visited the gym more and more to cope with her feelings, but she quit drinking that day and she eventually graduated high school, for me.

Life was rough for my family and friends, but they all pulled through and became very successful. Many years had passed and My parents had another kid and adopted a dog. Ruby and Sapphire got married and are now expecting a kid of their own. Jasper went over-seas to play football with an all-girls European team.

"Oh- Danny! What the hell, I already fed you, get off the counter!" I heard Pearl yelling at a cat from my position sitting on her couch. Pearl... Oh Pearl. She adopted three cats, became the manager of two different places, and was going to collage for Medical and Astronomy.

Naturally, me being her haunt-ie, I got to go with her everywhere. Bouncing from house to house until she settled down in this one, a large two floored building with plenty of space for her cats. She planned to rent out the spare bedroom downstairs, but with her two jobs, school, and three cats, she barely had time to sit down and eat breakfast much less put a room for rent in the paper. Went with her to every class at school. Also went with her to work. She was very good at her job, worked the best to her abilities every day and whenever someone would give her shit, I usually stepped in and gave them some "bad karma" by untying their shoelaces so they'd trip and fall on their stupid faces or nudge their arm when they were hammering a nail so they accidentally smashed their thumbs.

Me and Pearl made a great team. She really didn't deserve half the things people put on her shoulders, I watched her go through one disastrous relationship after another, watched her get mentally and physically abused, I sat by her side as her heart was broken countless times by faceless people who would continuously drop into her life and fall back out the second she turned around.

She was so strong... every time someone had knocked her down, she would hurt and she'd cry for a bit, but she got back up, rubbed some salt into her wounds, and fucking made herself some dinner. I admired her for that.

"Now Francis.. you know I need the computer, I can't check my email with your fluffy butt sitting in the middle of the keyboard," she picked up a rather large fluffy orange cat and set him on the floor "go harass Danny, he needs it. Maybe you can keep him of my counter, I literally just cleaned it."

I stood soundlessly from my spot on the couch and floated over to her position at her computer desk, looking over her shoulder to see what she was up to. Looks like she was typing a message to some organization, something about exchange students looking to attend her university. So, she was gonna rent the room out to another student? That's cute.

She nodded her head sharply and picked up her phone, plugging in a few numbers before holding it up to her ear. A quirk she had developed with social interaction was she would swipe her thumb over a nostril with a little sniffle when confronting people she'd never met or didn't know well, mostly an anxious gesture and probably self-conscious about boogers. Her nose was pretty long.

"Yes hello? This is Pearl- Oh, yeah, I got your email. When would she be here? From Puerto Rico? Yeah, I'll pick her up from the airport. Right, I know. Thank you, have a wonderful day!" Pearl hit the end-call button and sighed, relaxing into the black computer chair.

I took it upon myself to leave her to relax, so I floated into the kitchen and pressed the "brew" button on her coffee pot, making the machine start up with a lazy warm gurgling noise. She always filled it with water and new coffee-grounds, but the woman could never remember to hit the start button to make it work. Good thing I'm a nice fucker and I do pleasant things around here sometimes.

Sometimes.

I like to randomly turn the TV on at three in the morning or make her phone ring twice before hanging up. She doesn't ever think for an instant that there could be a ghost loitering around in the same room as her, the cats are used to me and Pearl is used to the cats looking at nothing for extended periods of time.

They say a room will get cold when the presents of an entity is near by, Pearl usually shrugs and puts on a coat.

Sometimes a ghost will put off an odor that pertains to how they died or where they passed. Pearl usually doesn't mind the smell of old alcohol and hot metal, but when she is worried about it, she lights a cinnamon candle or puts on another layer of deodorant.

When I turn a light on and off at night or accidentally kill her car at a stoplight, she grumbles about shitty wires and trudges on.

She's oblivious.

Speaking of her car, she still has that stupid old white Jeep that I hate so much. We sit together, well, she drives and I sit in the back singing along badly to some pop music on the radio. I know she hates it, but when we hit a bump I change the station from her classical music to something painfully mainstream. Hey, she needs it, the fast and upbeat songs of today are empowering and eventually she does end up breaking and sings along when she thinks no one is looking.

"Cuz the players gonna play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake... Shake it off! Shake it off" There you go Pearl! Belt those Taylor Swift grooves! Own that song, woman!

It was about a good hour or so drive full of yelling at other drivers and bad hipster dance moves, but we made it. Pearl and I were waiting at an airplane terminal for someone, I had no idea who, but she kept looking at a paper in her hands and checking her phone, so she had an idea. Eventually she spotted someone in the crowd and held an arm up in a wave, a wide smile adorning her face as she started jogging to the person.

"Ey Lapis Lazuli! Over here!" A girl wearing sunglasses looked in the direction of Pearl and I before a small smile split her lips, revealing very white teeth. She was a little shorter than the skinny bird-like woman and her skin was darker than what I remembered Jasper's was like, her hair was dark in color but had a few dyed blue streaks in it. Her appearance kinda screamed "art student" and "painfully lost tourist" at the same time with her tan shorts and short-sleeved blue Hawaiian floral button up, faded black converse on her feet held together with duct tape... was that a dolphin tattoo on her ankle? Wow this person was interesting.

"Hey, you must be Pearl?" She held out a hand for the taller to shake, and she did "It's wonderful to finally get to meet you!" Huh. Wouldn't have been able to tell she wasn't from around here. She must have taken some great English classes back in Puerto Rico. Wait... did people in Puerto Rico speak English?

"Likewise! Let's go get your luggage form the bag-claim and get you to your new home, I'd imagine the jet-lag must be pretty rough." We all started walking together in the direction of the luggage return, the girls chatting about the school Lapis would be soon attending and what classes she was going to be taking. They had Astronomy together, but she was also working on an art major as well as music.

Something seemed to be bothering the smaller girl though, she looked tense and kept turning her head slightly as if she were listening for something, I watched her curiously, coming closer for an instant to get a better look at her, she shivered with a sudden chill. I was making her cold, poor thing is in for a real surprise when we get back home then.

Collecting the few hard suitcases of belongings, we made our way back to the car. Only when we were seated comfortably in the vehicle did Pearl opened her mouth to ask the most obvious question I bet she'd been dying to ask sense she met the girl.

"Pardon my curiosity, but how long have you been blind?"

"All my life. I was born with cataracts in both eyes, something about under development I think" She didn't seem bothered by Pearl's extremely rude question at all. She even took off her sun glasses and turned her head in the other girl's direction. Her eyes were clouded, almost reflective, but under that cloud you could see that her eyes were as vast and blue as the ocean "They said I could probably go through a surgery to get them fixed, but eh.. I'm pretty comfortable not seeing. Plus I can put that money to an education instead of a doctor's visit!"

She did walk with a white cane, and her luggage had a beeper on it so she could tell where it was. I left these details out at the time as a surprise, so SURPRISE!

"So you're like, totally blind?" Lapis replaced the shades back onto her nose with a little smile.

"Totally. Not even shadows or solar-flares."

"Woah.. you don't mind cats, do you?"

"Not at all."

I stayed quiet for the drive home, choosing instead to observe the girls as they chatted a little, I even let Pearl have her classical music for the whole ride.

Home was wonderful, we were immediately swamped by the cats who clearly missed us and were very upset at being left alone with each other for three hours. They meowed and meowed, rubbing against Pearl and Lapis's legs, they tried to rub up on me too but fell through every time. I crouched down and baby-talked them for a bit, earning some happy mewls and purrs.

"Oh my, these are defiantly some of the most vocal cats I've ever met!" The young woman laid her cane down beside her and came to her knees, allowing the cats to climb up onto her lap and demand all the pets from the new person. I laughed a little as did Pearl.

"The big beefy one is Danny, he will sleep on your face if you don't shut the bedroom door," Danny; a very large tuxedo cat perched himself up on his back legs and bumped Lapis's chin with his head in affection "he's a big needy baby, but he loves with everything he is."

"Awweeee, he's so sweet! What is this one's name? The one that's licking my hand."

"That's Francis, I'm pretty sure he's the embodiment of a family-sized bag of Cheetos," Pearl chuckled at the fat silly cat. He clearly liked the new kid already "he's prone to eating your food for you and sitting on your electronics to keep them safe."

"Oh my, his hair is so long! Do you need to bathe Mr. Francis often?"

"Only when he sneaks outside and rolls around in the dirt. The little one to your right is Glados, she's a little skittish and old, but she keeps the boys in line."

"Glados eh? That's quite a name, what is that, german?" She reached out slowly and gently ran her fingers through the grey tabby's short hair. Glados in turn sniffed her fingers before pressing her head to the offered touch.

"It could be german or something. She belonged to my friend, I think she was named after a robot in a video game actually.." Pearl looked to her feet for a moment before choosing to step forward "..Well, let me show you to your room and what not."

They went about their business and I returned to my spot on the couch, Glados taking a seat on the arm beside me. I'm sure this is why my parents let Pearl have my cat, oll Glad felt my presents here. Even around the big brute boy cats and being fed diet food, she still stuck around and followed me nearly everywhere. Pearl thought she was depressed, and well.. she isn't wrong. This cat will never feel the touch of her human-mum ever again, but she will take some company from my spirit without complaint. Sometimes I talk to the cat and she looks at me like she can see me, I know she can't, but she knows I'm right here with her.

"Mm- No, mushrooms are disgusting."

"What about olives then?"

"Ew, no."

"Pineapple?"

"Pearl. This is Pizza we're talking about, stop trying to make a salad out of it." I laughed openly at that, finally, someone that gets me. Gosh, If I were still alive I'd soooo hit on this girl.

"Fine.. Cheese and pepperoni?"

"Now were talking!" Pearl rolled her eyes and grumbled, clicking some things on her phone before putting it down on the counter. Must be using an app to order pizza. She then fished out her wallet, pulling out a twenty and placed it on the counter beside the phone.

Lapis turned her attention back to the TV as she sat on the other side of the couch, listening to the news reporter talk about the weather and what have you. Her shades rested on the coffee table, seeing as she were indoors now in a place she would be calling home, she was comfortable enough to take them off. She must have heard the taller enter the room after a moment because she turned her head in the direction of her.

"So when were you going to tell me about your roommate?"

"Pardon?"

"Oh.. maybe friend then?"

"What are you talking about?"

"They came with you to pick me up from the airport, didn't they? I thought I felt someone walking with us."

"Uh.. No Lapis. It was just me at the airport."

"Then who is sitting on the couch with me right now?"

"Glados?"

"No, I heard them laugh earlier, and before that they were talking to the cats like they had known them forever."

Holly shit. Was she talking about me?

"Hey, cut it out Lapis, you're doing me a frighten-"

"-be serious with me right now, Pearl. Was there someone in the car with us?"

"No, there wasn't."

"Is their someone here in this house with us right now?"

I couldn't stop myself at this point, I came out of my stupor and leaned toward the other couch occupant.

"... _If you can hear me, scream-"_ and she did. Blatantly forgetting about her cane and throwing herself up and over the back of the couch in a panic. Pearl rushed to sooth the startled woman and keep her from bolting in a direction that would probably end with broken furniture. I stood and cheered, punching the air and wooping in victory " _I can't believe it! You can hear me!"_

 _"_ Okay okay, so maybe I can hear you. What are you?"

" _My name is Peridot, and I am dead._ "

Some time had passed, the girls and I sat in a semi-circle on the floor with a nearly finished pizza as Pearl asked some questions and Lapis would relay my answers. Lapis also asked a few of her own questions. The taller of the two seemed almost embarrassed by the fact that I had been around all this time and she didn't even know.

"This is still really fucking weird.. but like, how can you hear her?"

"My mom was a very spiritual woman.. she has done some time playing with tarot-cards and practicing witchcraft, dad just called her a devil-worshiping hippie and never talked about it further. Maybe she sold her soul to someone so her kid would have weird powers."

"Has this ever happened before?"

"Not really, I mean, maybe, If it did I never paid much attention to it."

"What do you think the expanse of this ability is? Like do you think you could feel her?"

"Dunno, maybe. Peri, come here and touch me."

" _It's Peri'dot' you clod,"_ I scooted closer and extended my index finger before poking Lapis in the cheek with it, remarkably I didn't go through her. She drew away from my touch with a grimace on her face, the girl made to swat my hand away but went through me. That made me curious, so I could touch her, but she couldn't touch me?

"Well I felt her poke me, no offence Peridot, but your hands are really cold. Like damn girl, get some ghost mittens or something."

" _Pfft, please. I wish I could, but I'm stuck with what I died in,"_ I sat back and rolled my eyes, letting her get comfortable again. Some expression crossed her face for a moment, a look of curiosity in her muted eyes as her lips drew into a hard line, I could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek in thought before she suddenly looked apprehensive.

"Hey Peridot. Would it be asking too much if I could.. If I could maybe see you?"

See me?

She held out both of her hands, palms up. I was confused by this, what did she mean? I looked from her hands to those dull eyes then back to her hands.

 _"Uh..?_ " I reached out and gently placed my hands on hers, she was warm, my senses were dull but I could feel her hands under mine. I could feel her feeling me. Slowly my fingertips slid onto her thin wrists, gently gripping them. I was afraid that if I applied too much pressure I'd phase through her " _I warn you.. I have no idea what ghost me looks like_ "

She chucked at that, giving me a reassuring smile, or at least I think that smile was directed at me. Carefully I brought her hands up, laying one against my jaw. I paused as she sucked in a breath through her teeth at the contact "sorry, your just cold" she didn't pull away though and allowed me to lay her other hand on the other side of my face, my fingertips now resting comfortably on the back of her hands, guiding her as she felt every dip and edge of my completion.

She traced the crowns of my brow, the arch of my nose, the bow of my lips. Grazed the pads of her thumbs over my high cheekbones, over my closed eyelids, and across my firm jawline. Her expression softened considerably as she felt my face, fingers gently getting lost in my wild hair after a moment.

" _Like what you see?"_ This made the girl blush a little and pull her hands back. Pearl did not look amused by this one bit, she stood and stretched her legs out with a groan, joints popping as she came to her full height.

"Damn dead friend's ghost in my house and a blind medium.. Whelp, I need a beer before any more of this weirdness starts, you want one Lapis?" The brunette nodded at the taller and looked up in the direction of the voice that questioned her.

"That sounds wonderful, I would enjoy trying your American beer!"

"Cool," she stepped over the near empty pizza box and started off in the direction of the refrigerator "And Peri, Lapis is our guest. I don't care what you are, don't you dare try and seduce her!"

" _It's PeriDOT, you CLOD!_ "

Lapis Lazuli's laughter filled the house at that moment, and for once I couldn't have felt more at home in all of my existence than right now.

We had three cats.

I had friends again.

I found a bubbling romance.

And I have been seen.

Maybe I was indeed haunting the right person after all.

 **END!**  
AN/ My stars this was so fun to write! Lemme know what you guys thought in the comments! It's 6:51am here and I think that's a wonderful time to finally get some sleep. I wish you all a good day/night, be safe and play nice you beautiful awesome people!


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